Adjustments and Annoyance
I just realized that it's been almost a month since I last wrote. I guess it's safe to say that life has been busy - although that's the typical answer everyone gives. But it's true. With being a new mom, working, taking care of the house, and trying to make a huge decision about the growth of my business (more to come on that in a future post), that the days just roll on by.
I do love being a mom - much more than I thought I would. It's truly amazing how one day this little person isn't here yet and the next, she has captured your heart. Granted for me, I did not feel the connection to her when she was in the womb and it took until the day after she was born for me to fully care about her. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I was so tired of all the labor and the delivery and being in the hospital and not knowing what the heck I was doing. And I was almost disconnected from her while she was growing inside me. I don't doubt that people feel connected to their baby, but I am not one of those people. It was more annoying than anything.
Some days, when I don't have anything pressing to do, or clients, I can literally sit on the couch or on the floor with her, reading to her, smiling at her, and playing with her. Other days, like a few of them last week, I literally want to yell in frustration. And it's not because she's a bad baby at all. We are so fortunate that she is mild mannered and pretty calm most of the time. She usually only cries when she is hungry (or when people other than me or Chris try to hold her after 5:30pm). But sometimes, she wants attention and/or to be held, when all I want to do it finish up the project I'm working on or wanting to check off my to-do list or even simply going to the bathroom. I just need 5 minutes to do these things sometimes and Sloane is not having it.
As I've said in other posts and in my social media feed, most of the time, I've learned to just go with the flow and enjoy every minute with her - since my to-do list isn't that important most of the time. But other times, like last Friday for example, I just want to feel like I accomplished something. I was trying to cut out her Halloween costume and what should have taken me maybe 3 minutes, took me over an hour because someone wanted to be held, then fed, then held some more.
Even though my pregnancy and delivery was pretty easy overall, I now am having issues. I may have mentioned pubic bone pain during pregnancy, which I still have. And after 8 or so weeks postpartum, I've been getting this low back/glute pain that sometimes radiates into my hamstring. I went to the pelvic floor PT and she told me that "I know what to do". Um... what? Clearly, I don't. So I sought out another option. I'll talk about that and treatment I'm undergoing next time. But this pain scares the heck out of me. From what I can remember, it's very similar pain (not the pubic bone pain) to the pain I had when I tore my hip labrum, but didn't know it was a hip issue for years. I seriously might have a breakdown if I tore my other hip labrum. The thought of that surgery and recovery again is devastating. So for now, I'm working on natural treatments to find relief and have been taking it pretty easy on exercise.
I am doing a spin class once or twice a week - depending on clients, I am maybe walk/running twice a week - but only to a mile or 2, with a couple days of strength. Some days, based on Sloane, I get in a 45 minute workout, but most of the time it's only been 20 minutes. I am starting to lift heavier (no, I am not talking Power Lifting her) and it's starting to feel good. I am liking how my arms are starting to be sculpted again - it makes me worry less about how much stomach looks (good thing it's winter coming up - I can hide it more. :)) And I am still walking. I've had to use the treadmill a couple of times based on the coldness, desire not to have to take Sloane and Jersey with me. I just am trying to move as much as I can because I am sitting a lot more than I used to.