Worries

Worry. While pregnant, I was worried that I would never be able to fit into all my favorite clothes again (I know it wasn't the end of the world if this did happen). I was worries that something would be wrong with the baby - and that it would be my fault because my heart rate got too high or I lifted too heavy.

Now that she is here, the worries have grown exponentially regarding Sloane. Staring at her to check if she is still breathing. Concerned whether or not she will be a good person. Rethinking everything that I put in my mouth, wondering if it will bother her stomach. But not all worries are about her. I have worries about me too. Am I going to be a good mom? Am I doing good so far? (She's alive and seems happy so I guess I am). What is really going to happen to my business now that I am a mom? Will my husband and I be as happy together as we were before? Will we be able to travel on adventurous vacations that we love so much? Will I develop incontinence if I start running or doing plyometrics, even if I wait a couple more months? Will my stomach ever go back to looking the way it did before so that I can wear my old clothes confidently (or as confidently as I did before). The list goes on.

But regardless of all the worry, which I suspect is just a quality of being a mom, I will try and rely on God for most of the worries and seek help for the rest if needed. This is all just new and weird for me.

On a completely different topic, I go back to my OB this week for my 6 week check up. I know she will be telling me I'm cleared to exercise, but I will be easing back into it. The past 2 weeks, I've done a couple strength workouts, just to feel my muscles moving again, mostly with bands. Today I used lighter weights. As well as stretching. I found an easy yoga stretch routine that I have been enjoying. I have been walking a lot. I used to do at least 10,500 steps a day, but changed my goal to 4,000 when Sloane was first born. Now I moved it up to 6000, but with the weather cooling down a bit, I have been doing at least 13,000 a day, between going to the dog park, walking the neighborhood with Jersey and Sloane when Chris isn't home, and we went on our first family hike over the weekend. It feels good to walk. I listen to books or podcasts while walking. I'm loving it.

I have been visited by or visited some of my clients in the past couple weeks. It's been so nice seeing them all. I really have missed them. It's one benefit that this job offered me- creating relationships with these wonderful people.

And I am currently working on coming up with material for a pregnancy and a postpartum fitness workshops that I am planning on putting on in the coming months. I'm excited to see what will happen with this.